Liquid Pills
by CordialBloodBath
Summary: Craig hates how boring his life is, so Kenny shows him another one.


Liquid Pills

It's always the same. No matter what changes. No matter what happens. Change is an irrelevant illusion that society creates to ensure that people can feel better about themselves. It's a concept created to improve the relationships of those who cannot forgive. It's created as a form of acceptance between us as the people.

I for one, do not like change.

I've grown used to the way things are.

I do not want to fall under the wing of society. I do not want to be a part of those who change for the better. I enjoy living my boring, everyday life. I enjoy being who and what I am. Which is nothing. I don't want to change for the better. I don't want society to accept me because I've made myself a better person for their sake.

No thank you.

It's the fourth of April. That's the date my phone reads to me. I blink my eyes open and stare. It seems stupid. So fucking stupid. Everything is run in a specific order. Everything happens in a certain way. We all follow the same things. The same day. The same time. I don't want to be a part of this illusion. I don't want to be the average man.

I know there's a lot more to life than this.

Than waking up and packing my schoolbag. Brushing my teeth. Eating breakfast. Going to school. There has to be more than this.

Today I approached the goth kids with this subject. It was lunchtime and I walked out the backdoor. My so called friends were calling at me from their rightful spot in the schoolyard. I just ignored them. I walked towards these dark kids and acted like I had never spoken with my friends before. I walked up to them and then sat down and crossed my legs.

"Craig Tucker," Michael said from his spot on the stairs. "What do you want?"

"Conformity." I said sharp and simply.

"If you want to conform, this is the wrong place to be." Henrietta said as she gently exhaled some of her cigarette.

"I don't want to conform," I stated. "I want to know why you hate conformists."

"Because they conform. There's nothing more to it than that." Pete stated. I sighed and shook my head.

"You guys are useless." I said as I stood up and straightened my clothes out. I rolled my eyes and walked towards the yard. I heard them muttering about me as I walked away, but I didn't care. I didn't care for my friends in the yard either. So I simply turned around and walked away. I walked back into the school and looked around at everything. I knew there was a lot more to life than _this._ There had to be. Everything around me is so boring and normal. I knew who to go to for the opposite of normal. But I hated all of them.

Those boys. The ones who always get into shit. Cartman's 'friends'. They had been hanging out with each other since kindergarten. Nothing changed, even when entering high school. They seem to defy the laws. They have no morals or standards. Even the best of them, Kyle, still fucks up. Thinking about them is a stupid waste of time.

As I was walking, I stopped at the sound of voices. I peeked around the upcoming corner and looked over at the people conversing. One of them was from Cartmans group. It was the one in the orange parka; Kenny. I hadn't spoken with him much during my school years, and I only knew what I had heard. I watched as he pressed his hand into the lockers behind a girl's head. She was clearly a freshman, who was much younger than Kenny.

Kenny had gained himself a slutty reputation. People either used it against him, or used it for their own pleasure. You could see his sly smirk from behind his parka, even from where I was standing and watching. He chuckled and ran a hand up her body then held her cheek gently. I watched as he leaned down, they were very close. Then he reached into his pocket and looked around him before pulling out a little baggy with white powder. He licked his lips and held it between their faces with a devilish smirk.

"Here. This one's on me," He winked. The girl nervously took the bag and shoved it into her bra. She nodded and blushed darkly.

"Th-thank you Kenny." She said before nervously scurrying away. I watched the girl run and Kenny sighed. He pulled the hood of his parka off and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. I had heard rumours about him drug dealing at school, but I had never believed any. Or thought he would actually do it. He sighed and turned to walk away, but I think he noticed I was standing there. His hazel eyes flicked into mine and I stared at him blankly. He chuckled and leaned into the lockers. He crossed one leg over the other and crossed his arms.

"Craig," he said my name in a smooth, gentle voice. "What are you doing? Watching me?" He smirked.

"Don't flatter yourself McCormick," I grunted. He pushed himself off the lockers and walked towards me. I felt my heartbeat increase as he approached, but I didn't dare to show this shift in emotions on my face.

"You're not going to report me are you? Tell on me? Get me caught? Arrested even?" He asked with a smirk.

"I don't care enough to bother." I rolled my eyes and turned around to walk away. Obviously he wanted to be left alone. But he didn't allow for me to walk away. His strong hands wrapped around my bicep and he leaned closer to me. I was taller than him, but he was slightly bigger than me.

"Do you want some?" He asked. I turned to look at him, not bothering to try and move my arm out of his grasp.

"Some what?" I stared at him with boredom. He reached into his pocket to pull out another baggy of the stuff he had just given to the girl.

"It'll cost you," he warned.

I looked down at it, then I looked up at him. He looked smug.

"No thank you," I said as I pushed his hand and the bag to Kenny's chest. "I'm not interested." I lied.

"C'mon dude, we're all a _liiiittlllee_ interested," he sang. I rolled my eyes and turned around properly this time. He didn't make any efforts to stop me. "You'll regret not taking any."

"I don't even have any money on me." I stated as I walked down the hallway. I could hear he was about to say more, but the bell rang instead.

The rest of the day was like any other. We learnt what we were taught. The same things. History was always the same. Communism is bad. Fascism is bad. Everything expect freedom and democracy is bad. America has been treated badly. Everyone is bad except for us. The same as usual. English was the same. Read this analyse that. I'm sick of the education. I'm sick of the rules.

I'm sick of the boring life we live in.

I don't enjoy being as miserable as I am. I don't talk much because I'm sick of the average conversation. The weather is cold. My sister is fine. My parents work. I'm okay. Lunch is the usual sandwich and popper. Handing in assignments.

It's all the bloody fucking same.

I go to school for another two weeks. It's the same as before. It's the same as now. Nothing changes. Nothing is different.

I scrunch up a piece of paper I've been doodling on. I looked down at how it crumpled in my hand. There has to be more to life than this. I grunted as I stared at the balled up paper. I fucking hate this. Not the paper. It's the life I experience in which I am staring down at this scrunched up ball of trees. How cruel are we as humans? We think we're so good. Think we run the fucking show.

Later that night, I find myself telling these thoughts to Tweek and Kenny. An odd mix of characters sure. But weirdly relaxing.

Tweeks sipping on coffee in the corner while Kenny's at the door selling something. We're all in Tweeks lounge room. The clock sounds and alerts us that its nine at night. Kenny closed the door with a laugh and walks over to where Tweek and I are sitting. I was sitting on the couch, whereas Tweek sat on the floor near the corner. He was drinking hot black coffee as if it was chocolate milk on a hot day. Which never happens here in South Park.

"I just don't understand," I continue. "Why do we have to follow the structure of the society that is created as a means of making the upper-class feel better? What's the point in following all these rules, and living a certain way when we're all going to end up six feet under the same earth in which we once ruled? What's the point in listening if when we die we end up buried with those we love and hate?" I ask the room. I spoke outwards. Whether they were listening or not, I felt like sharing this shit with at least two people who are either paying attention or just enjoying my voice.

"I dunno man, but that sounds pretty fucked up," Kenny comments from his spot next to me on the couch.

"Y-Yknow- g-guys-" Tweeks shaky voice enters the conversation. "Craig has a point."

"You bet I fucking have a point." My nasally opinion went over whatever Tweek had said.

"You want a new world, don't you Craig?" Kenny asked as he dug into his pockets. "A new world where you don't have to follow rules, or see what everyone else sees?" Kenny smirked. I knew what that shit-eating smirk meant. He pulled drugs out of his pockets and I rolled my eyes.

"You're a fucking dickhead." I snorted.

"Sure am," He grinned proudly. "Look.. just lay back and close your eyes. I'll make you feel things you've never felt before." I stared into Kenny's eyes. I didn't know whether I wanted to trust him or not. How do I trust someone so mischievous? He's nothing but a filthy whore, why would I trust him?

I trust him because he promises to show me something new. A new way of thinking. A new experience that will give me a break from this boring life I'm stuck in.

"Go on then. Show me."

Kenny's entire face lit up at my words. He had been waiting to hear that since I caught him drug dealing at school.

"Are-are you sure you should be- be messing with this stuff? Kenny?" Tweek nervously asked from his place in the corner. We didn't chose for him to go there. He just said it was comfortable for him. He held his coffee and I didn't even need to look at him to see that his hands were shaking and his face was twitching.

"Trust me… I know what I'm doing. Close your eyes Craig." I can't believe I'm listening to him.

I closed my eyes…

…and darkness surrounded me. I could faintly see the ceiling lights through my eyelids, but it was mostly dark. I pursed my lips and rested back. I breathed slowly to try and relax myself.

I'm relaxed.

I trust him.

I felt a sting in my arm and my face scrunched up a bit. I kept my eyes closed. Kenny's cold fingers rubbed over the sore spot and I was staring into my closed eyelids. I felt something move through my veins and body and I shivered.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the world Kenny spoke of.

" _It's like paradise."_ Kenny had said to me. _"It's like you open your eyes, and you see the things you never saw before."_

" _You're opened up to a special place that only people who are on whatever fucked up thing you're on can see. You go somewhere new, without even needing to leave. You see new colours. Taste new flavours. You feel new sensations! It's like you've been missing out your whole life… you've been missing out on experiencing something like this. You've been missing out on the reality, that's literally right under your nose."_

Waking up the next day was like waking up from the best dream ever. I sat up slowly and saw all kinds of things scattered across Tweeks lounge room. White powder. Bongs. Needles. Wine. Food scraps. I looked over at Kenny, who was sleeping like a child. Then I looked over at Tweek, who for the first time in his life wasn't nervously shaking. Everything in the room felt so calm. I looked up at the clock.

It was two in the afternoon the next day. I stared at that clock and sighed. I stood up and my head felt heavy and sore. I squinted as I moved around to clean up. I didn't know if Tweeks parents were home or not, but I felt rude by leaving it all like this. Once I was sure everything was in an appropriate spot, I collected my things and left. On the way home I felt light headed and rather strange. I felt strange in the sense that I could still feel the buzz from whatever Kenny had given to me last night. I felt stupidly happy all of a sudden. I remembered that world he had taken me to. It was a new world of new colours and tastes.

I remember sitting there last night as the high kicked in. The world swirled and spun. My fingertips were fuzzy. I tapped the tip of my index finger to my thumb and chuckled. The tickly fuzz was still there. I felt fuzzy and brand new. I felt weightless. Last night I felt like I was floating away from the dull existence of this earth. Of the dumb reality we call our own. I knew there was more to life than the stupidity we live through.

And last night, Kenny had shown me a world I didn't even know existed.

Five days later Kenny and I are meeting in the alleyway beside Skeeters Bar. He's leaning against the wall with a cigarette hanging from his smug mouth. He's sorting through a thing or two before handing a bag of green herbs to me.

"You'll have to pay this time," Kenny says with another smirk. I don't see what's so entertaining or funny about this.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I pulled my wallet out of my pocket.

"At Tweek's I shared mine with you. This is different. This time you're buying it."

"Oh." I understand now. "How much? $20?" I asked as I looked at the bag. Kenny snorted.

"You're lucky you're so cute," he muses. "I'll let you off with twenty bucks today. I expected better of you Tucker." I pass him a twenty-dollar bill and he in turn hands me the bag. "You know what to do, don't you?" He teased. I snatched the bag and rolled my eyes.

"Of course I know what to fucking do."

I don't know what to fucking do.

I sat in my room with the bag in my hands. I stared at the herbs. I don't think that it's herbs. It must be marijuana. I opened the bag and sniffed. I choked a bit and shut the bag. It fucking reeks. I stared at it.

How was I able to see something so beautiful from a substance so foul?

I didn't know what to do. Do I eat it? Do I smoke it? How do I smoke it? Other than a few cigs I've never really smoked anything before. I grunted and messaged Kenny. Tweek had given me Kenny's number yesterday when I was asking about how to get into contact with him in terms of buying drugs. Tweek was stupidly useful. I called Kenny and waited.

" _Craig?"_ Kenny's voice sounds playful and mocking.

"I need your help," I pathetically announce to him.

" _Roll it up in paper and light it."_ He said.

"What?"

" _Do I need to come and do it for you again?"_ I sighed at Kenny's words.

"Yes."

I forgot that Kenny knew where I lived. He showed up ten minutes after our brief phone call. My mother greeted him and then proceeded to bring him up to my bedroom. She announced his presence and gave me a strange look as he entered the room. She closed the door on my request and then left us alone. He stared at me and took the bag out of my hands. He silently made a joint out of what was there.

"Got a lighter?" He asked. Kenny seemed strange. And different. I didn't really talk to him much, so I wasn't exactly in the position of judgment. I stared at him with my usual blank expression.

"No."

"How were you even planning on using this?" He grunted. He seemed irritated. Did I irritate Kenny? I thought that was impossible. He always walks around like happiness is beneath his precious feet. Seeing him act this way was strange. I watched him roll it up and then pull a lighter out of his back pocket. I watched him from my spot on the bed. He put the bag down then moved onto my lap.

"Kenny!" I yelled. He just silently straddled my lap as if it was the most normal thing on this hellish earth. He got rather comfortable then held my joint to his lips. I could have pushed him off of me. I had more strength than you'd think. I just stared at him, watching as he sucked on the drug while the small flame from the lighter lit it. I watched it burn and come to life as Kenny inhaled deeply. He put the lighter on the bed and held onto the joint between his index and middle finger. He then held either side of my face and I watched him speechlessly as he leaned closer to me. He pressed his lips to mine and I felt him exhale.

I instinctively kept my mouth closed, until I registered what he was doing. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I breathed in and inhaled what he was offering to me. My body tingled everywhere as his soft lips pressed into mine. I breathed in slowly, steadily consuming the smoke from his lungs. He then pulled away and I sighed the smoke out. I coughed a bit and wiped my mouth.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"You're welcome," Kenny said as he got off my lap and handed me the joint. "I've gotta go. But have fun with that." He winked before running out. I watched the door shut behind him then looked down at what I was holding.

He had shown me that world again. It was different this time. This time all kinds of colours and shapes slowly swirled around me. They gently caressed my vision to the beat of an unheard rhythm. My whole body slowed down in time with the colours. I laid back on my bed and smoked the weed Kenny had given me. I giggled and felt my stomach grumble. I'm too lazy and intoxicated to do something about my sudden hunger. I felt my heartbeat and my breathing slow down. I laid helplessly in my bed as my whole body went numb.

I started to see new parts of this world. New things I hadn't seen before. I was hearing new sounds and seeing new feelings.

Then I opened my eyes and it was all gone.

The next day had come and I didn't even realise it was here.

I smoked the remains of the bag and needed more. I had to feel that other world again. The world that currently possess my existence is a piece of fucking shit and I want nothing to do with it. I sat in my room and twitched a bit. I was so irritated and annoyed. The boring reality I live in sucks. I want to be in that other world again.

I couldn't see Kenny for another day. So I went down to dad's fridge and grabbed all the alcohol I could find. Apparently being drunk works just as well.

I sat in my bedroom with an empty bottle of wine and crushed beer cans surrounding me. I was laughing at my own jokes and watching stupid things on the internet. I masturbated to dogs at one point and ended up drinking myself to sleep. My stupid dumb dreams were the same as that high I experienced with the marijuana. It was possibly even memories of that high.

The next day I was greeted with a stinging headache.

When my parents questioned me about the missing alcohol I ignored their claims and denied their accusations. I cleaned up and slept again to rid myself of my hangover. I woke up from my second sleep and I saw Kenny in my room. I didn't even question it or think it was out of the ordinary. I just sat up and rubbed my aching head. "I thought you were busy today." I said in a miserable voice.

"Yeah, but I heard your dad mentioning to my dad that you stole their alcohol. So I figured you were desperate."

I stared at Kenny. His voice was doing weird things to my chest. I easily pushed that shit away.

"I didn't steal anything. It's in my fridge as well," I commented as I crossed my arms. I was dressed in pyjamas but I still felt exposed. My hair was probably a mess and I could feel the bags under my eyes. I watched Kenny move off of my desk chair and onto the edge of my bed. He pulled another plastic baggy out of his Mary Poppins pockets and he tossed it onto the bed. The bag was filled with lots of white pills.

"Here. This should satisfy you for a while. Take one at a time. Kevin and I have been working on them for ages. If you wanna get fucked, this is the shit. We're calling it Liquid. Down it with alcohol and you'll be seeing stars," Kenny smirked.

"You're a fucking prick," I snorted.

"You don't care." It was true. I didn't. I didn't even mean those words. I held the drugs and looked at them.

"How much will it cost me this time?" I asked sarcastically despite it being a serious question.

"You," Kenny said seriously. I stared at him and threw the bag back at him.

"I don't want your stupid drugs if you're implying that shit."

"At least try one before you refuse," Kenny said as he pulled one out. I stared at it and took it. I swallowed it easily without downing it with anything.

He just sat there and stared at me.

It was a matter of minutes. It took a few minutes and suddenly everything hit me hard. All of my senses became hypersensitive. I could feel the threads in the sheets beneath me and the clothes on my body. I could feel the particles in the air. I could hear my mother breathing in a separate room. I could taste Kenny's skin and feel his warmth. I shivered. I could hear my own heartbeat. My eyes stang momentarily before every colour around me intensified. I looked into Kenny's bright now green, glowing eyes and I heard him chuckle. I shivered and felt every goosebump pop out of my skin when I heard his voice.

"See, it's worth it.. isn't it…" I moaned as the vibrations in his voice shook me. I gasped when I was zapped out of this reality and into another. All kinds of things were happening to me. I just laid back and watched the world change before my eyes.

When I woke up I was in a place I had never been before. I looked around me and tried to focus on where I was. The high from that little pill had taken me into a new universe. I was seeing all kinds of stars and galaxies. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. I was lying in a smelly, fucked up bed. I was naked. And so was Kenny, who was lying beside me.

I moved to stand up and I grunted. My head and hips and asshole were burning. I felt sticky between my legs and looked around the crime scene. I guess this is Kenny's place.

I fucking hate my life. I hate how I live. I hate the world. I hate how fucking terrible everyone and everything is. I just want it all to end.

I don't think about it anymore now.

Now I have Liquid. And Kenny. The disgusting stain in the solar system called earth no longer matters to me. I crave the drug like it's the air I breathe. I don't crave it for the drug. I crave it for the escape and the pleasure.

I had fallen into a new routine. A routine where I let Kenny fuck me in exchange for the drug. I wasn't complaining.

I had started to lose track of time and reality. I was high more than I was awake. I was in Kenny's room with a shot of vodka in my right hand and a pill in the left. I put the pill in my mouth and took the shot. I tossed the glass behind me and stared at Kenny through hungry eyes. He was sitting naked on the bed with a hot erection in his hand. He stroked his cock and I licked my desperate dry lips. The pill made me feel everything intensely. Using the pills so much had also given me a decrease in weight. I was skinnier and bonier than before, but Kenny seemed to love it so it doesn't matter. I was drinking and getting high more than I was eating anyways. I moved into his lap and rubbed our dicks together. Every single nerve beneath my heated skin was screaming with need. I panted and pressed against him. Our dicks were grinding and rubbing against one another and our breaths became heavier and needier. I was starting to need him. Hot air was forming between the two of us and I raised my hips. I lowered myself down onto him and moaned loudly.

I started to drool as I rode his hot dick. It felt so good to have him satisfying and pleasuring me.

His hand wrapped around my dick and I was moving on and off of him like he was as important as the drugs. I felt so fucking good. I couldn't remember the last time I was feeling this fucking amazing. I scratched my ragged nails down his creamy and freckled back. My own back arched with pleasure as my prostate was pounded and I screamed his name. I had never been so vocal before. Even the vibrations of my own voice turned me on. I was panting and moaning his names as if it was the only thing that could drip from these lips of mine.

I need him.

So fucking bad.

Having sex while on the drug was more amazing than the drug itself. Cause when orgasm finally hits, I'm seeing more than the stars. I can taste and feel them. He's showing me this whole other world. A world so much better than my own miserable one.

The high eventually completely consumed me. I once entered a new world. A better world. One that I forever lived in.

One that I could never wake up from.

It made me so happy.


End file.
